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Imagine embarking on a journey back in time, finding yourself 200 years ago. As a monarch, you possess all the wealth and power imaginable, yet you lack many of the conveniences a modern-day individual takes for granted. Your riches and royal title could not, in those times, grant you the convenience of traveling by bus or the comfort of flying in an airplane. Today, thanks to modern advancements, the concepts of time and space are redefined at an astonishing pace. Traveling from one city to another, or to a different country, can now be accomplished in just a few hours.

For instance, a journey from Istanbul to New York, which is merely an 11-hour flight today, would have been an arduous, time-consuming process 200 years ago in the 1800s. This journey would involve traveling by horse-drawn carriages to Western Europe, then crossing the Atlantic Ocean by sailing ship, and finally traversing the American continent westward on horseback or by wagon. This trip could take months or even more than a year, depending on conditions.

200 years ago, there were no such things as electricity, refrigerators, many medicines, cars, or airplanes. So, despite all these absences, why did people feel happier?

According to reports by the World Health Organization, the number of people experiencing depression is increasing day by day, reaching significant levels compared to the previous century. However, some experts suggest that part of this increase may be due to previously inadequate diagnostic practices.

Yet, when we look back at the environment of our childhood, we might realize that people were not as happy as they used to be. It’s insufficient to attribute this merely to nostalgia. From my own experiences, I remember; many days of the week, either our neighbors would visit us, or we would visit them. Social connections provided opportunities for sharing burdens, helping each other, and standing together during tough times.

I conducted a brief research on why people might have been happier in the past and identified several factors. Let’s explore these factors together and draw personal lessons:

A) Expectations and Comparison

Social media and other communication channels allow people to constantly observe others’ lives and make comparisons with their own. This habit of constant comparison can increase feelings of personal dissatisfaction and lead people to view their own lives in a negative light. In the past, people’s comparisons were limited to their communities or immediate surroundings, keeping expectations realistic and attainable.

Reasons why comparisons can be harmful include:

• Unrealistic Expectations: Content shared on social media often reflects people’s best moments, achievements, or idealized lifestyles, leading to unrealistic expectations and disappointment when confronted with our own realities.
• Emotional Burden: Constantly comparing ourselves to others can trigger negative emotional states like jealousy, feelings of inadequacy, and lower self-esteem.
• Diminished Capacity to Live in the Moment: Being in the habit of continually evaluating our lives against others’ can prevent us from enjoying the present and celebrating our own achievements and happiness.
• Obstacle to Personal Growth: Comparisons can distract from focusing on our values, goals, and interests, negatively affecting personal development and self-actualization.

B) Simplicity and Complexity

In the past, people engaged in clear and tangible tasks for daily survival; activities like farming, day-to-day chores, and securing shelter formed the basis of their struggle for existence. Such tasks provided clear goals and immediate satisfaction upon achievement, establishing a direct relationship between efforts and tangible outcomes, fostering a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.

Conversely, the complexity of modern life has changed how individuals navigate their existence. Advances in technology, globalization, and increased societal expectations have made daily life more complex. Continuously changing goals in work and personal life can make it challenging for individuals to determine what is truly important. In the modern world, the outcomes of our efforts and achievements are often long-term and fraught with uncertainties, creating an environment where instant gratification is diminished, and the concrete metrics of success are blurred.

This complexity can increase individuals’ unhappiness by:

• Difficulty in Making Decisions: Life’s complexities necessitate constant decision-making, leading to stress, indecision, and regret.
• Deferred Gratification: Achieving goals in the modern world often takes time and patience, reducing motivation and satisfaction.
• Uncertainty of Values: In contemporary society, what is valued is constantly changing, causing difficulties in focusing and leading to dissatisfaction and anxiety when contemplating life’s meaning and purpose.

C) Social Bonds and Loneliness

In ancient societies, people tended to live within tight-knit communities that offered mutual support, security, and a sense of belonging, strengthening bonds among individuals. These communities provided economic, emotional, and social support, uniting during hard times and sharing joys. This was a natural part of individuals’ social networks and interactions, significantly reducing feelings of loneliness.

In modern society, however, individualism and the tendency to live alone have become more prevalent, especially due to urbanization, changes in family structure, and technological advancements. Social media and digital communication tools, while replacing face-to-face interactions, can weaken real social bonds and create a misleading sense of connection. Consequently, the number of deep and meaningful relationships decreases, and feelings of social isolation and loneliness increase.

D) Physical Activity

In the past, daily life required physical activity. Basic survival activities like agriculture, hunting, and gathering kept people constantly moving. Such levels of physical activity improved heart health, flexibility, and overall physical endurance, while reducing stress and providing psychological benefits like better sleep quality.

However, today’s lifestyle is more sedentary. Many people spend long hours sitting for work or education, which can lead to physical health issues. Additionally, the lack of physical activity can lead to mood fluctuations, increased risk of anxiety and depression, and negatively affect mental health, depriving individuals of the positive effects on stress management and emotional resilience.

In these contexts, the reduction of social bonds and physical activity are among the challenges brought by modern life, significantly affecting individuals’ happiness and overall well-being. To combat these issues, spending more time in the community, strengthening social relationships, and incorporating regular physical activity into one’s lifestyle are crucial.

The Impact of Perceived Time on Physical Healing

An intriguing piece of research from the scientific community: Psychologists Peter Aungle and Ellen Langer from Harvard University conducted a study revealing that perceived time significantly influences the healing of physical wounds. Published in the Scientific Reports journal in 2023, this research takes a new dimension in examining the effects of psychological processes on physical health.

The study was carried out by inflicting minor, painless wounds on volunteer participants. Their perception of time was altered in a laboratory setting: Slow Time (0.5x real time), Normal Time (1x real time), and Fast Time (2x real time). Under these three different conditions, the healing processes of the wounds were observed. Interestingly, when participants believed more time had passed, the wounds healed faster. Conversely, when they believed less time had passed, the healing process was slower.

To simplify, a group of scientists conducted an experiment. In the experiment, small, painless wounds were made on some people. Then, these people were made to believe they were experiencing different durations in the laboratory. For example, one group was told “an hour has passed” when in reality only half an hour had passed. This is the “Slow Time” experiment. Another group was correctly told “1 hour has passed,” representing “Normal Time.” Finally, a group was told “2 hours have passed,” though in reality, it was only an hour. This is known as “Fast Time.” Then, scientists looked at how people’s wounds healed under these different perceptions of time. Interestingly, the wounds of the people in the “2 hours passed” group actually healed in just one hour. But in the group told “half an hour passed,” the healing took longer. Thus, the more time people thought had passed, the faster their wounds healed. This experiment shows how much people’s thoughts can help in the healing of their bodies.

These findings open new doors to more deeply explore the interactions between the mind and body and their effects on health. Traditionally, the effects of psychological factors on physical health have been evaluated through emotional states (for instance, stress, inflammation, and immune functions) and behaviors (for instance, beliefs that promote healthy actions). However, this research shows that abstract beliefs we hold about our bodies can also directly shape our physical health.

This study presents a strong argument for a more comprehensive assessment of the “unity” concept of mind and body and its effects on health. The researchers propose that psychological factors have a broader range of effects on physical health, thereby offering a new direction for future research in this area.

This research challenges traditional approaches in the health field and encourages us to consider the potential impacts of the mind-body connection on our health more comprehensively. The increasing presence of such research both in academic circles and in the general understanding of health is promising.

References:

“Perceived time has an actual effect on physical healing, study finds” – Harvard University, Scientific Reports (2023).
Peter Aungle et al., “Physical healing as a function of perceived time”, Scientific Reports (2023). DOI: 10.1038/s41598-023-5000

Sevgi (Love): You should love without harming, spilling, or hurting. After all, everyone claims to love.

Loyalty: Trust is more important than love. You love whom you trust. Love ends where trust ends.

Patience: You shouldn’t leave at the first fight or argument. You should fight for your relationship. It takes courage to love, but perseverance to continue.

Respect: You should respect their decisions and the way they live their life. Don’t try to change them. Love them as they are, not as you want them to be.

Interest: Finally, interest is crucial because everything that doesn’t receive attention dies. This includes feelings, relationships, and even flowers.

Since 2010, I have occasionally shared insights in my writings about the subconscious processes that influence our decisions, often without our awareness. In this context, this article will examine the impact of physical attractiveness and persuasion on our decisions. My goal is for you to make more informed decisions after reading this article and not to be misled by physical attractiveness.

HOW DOES THE PERCEPTION OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS AFFECT BEHAVIOR?

Physical attractiveness is a significant factor that people consider when evaluating someone. Research indicates that individuals exhibit a more positive attitude towards physically attractive people and are more inclined to believe what they say.

Numerous studies in the field of business have shown that physically attractive individuals tend to be more successful. For instance, a physically attractive waiter in a restaurant may receive more tips. It has also been observed that attractive individuals receive more positive responses in job interviews and are perceived as more skilled and qualified by employers.

In social and personal relationships, physical attractiveness can also be influential. One study revealed that an attractive person joining a group received more attention and was more readily accepted. Additionally, physically attractive individuals have been observed to be more popular, have more friends, and attract more attention in social settings.

However, physical attractiveness alone is not sufficient, and the influence of other factors should also be considered. For instance, factors such as trustworthiness, authority, and the content of the speech can also be effective in persuasion and belief.

THE IMPACT OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS ON TRUST, INTERACTION, AND BELIEF
This situation is supported by various studies demonstrating the significant impact of physical attractiveness on people’s perceptions and social interactions. The influence of physical attractiveness on trust, interaction, and belief can be explained as follows:

Halo Effect: The tendency of people to trust and believe in physically attractive individuals can be associated with a psychological phenomenon known as the “halo effect.” According to this effect, people attribute more positive qualities to someone they find attractive and tend to believe that this person is more honest, intelligent, and trustworthy. Example: In job interviews, employers have been observed to evaluate attractive candidates as more skilled and successful.

First Impression: Physical attractiveness plays a crucial role in the quick and automatic evaluations people make about each other. Attractive individuals are generally perceived as more trustworthy and positively evaluated. Example: In politics, it has been found that voters trust physically attractive candidates more and believe more in their policies.

Social Success: Physical attractiveness is associated with social success and popularity. People trust and believe more in the words of individuals who are accepted and liked by others due to their attractiveness.

However, these tendencies are generalizations and may not apply in every situation.

PEOPLE TRUST PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUALS MORE AND BELIEVE IN THEIR WORDS MORE

Research shows that people tend to trust physically attractive individuals more and believe in their words more. This demonstrates how the perception of attractiveness can influence people’s perceptions, judgments, and behaviors.

For example, physically attractive individuals may be perceived as more qualified and skilled in the eyes of employers. Therefore, employers may trust these individuals more and believe in what they say. This situation can help attractive individuals achieve more success in the professional world.

It has also been observed that physically attractive individuals attract more attention during presentations and receive more interest from the audience. This may be due to the audience’s more positive attitude towards attractive individuals.

Moreover, attractive individuals have been observed to be more successful in their social interactions with others. For instance, it has been found that an attractive person receives more help and sympathy in an encounter.

FINAL WORDS Although physical attractiveness has a significant impact on persuasion, making decisions based solely on physical attractiveness is undoubtedly misleading. You should pay attention to whether the ideas advocated by a person are logical and realistic, rather than their appearance. You should not allow physical attractiveness to influence you.

Your decisions should be made objectively and logically. It is crucial to make decisions after a detailed analysis, without succumbing to emotional reactions. Remember that your decisions can shape your life in the long run, so it is important to make them consciously.

For those who want to learn more about the topic, here are some recommended resources and books:

The books listed below can help you gain more insight into the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s perceptions. Each book explores the relationship between attractiveness, beauty, and human behavior from different perspectives.

“Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful” – Daniel S. Hamermesh This book is based on research that examines how attractive people are more successful in the business world and social life, addressing the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s successes and perceptions.

“Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty” – Nancy Etcoff
Nancy Etcoff explores the evolutionary and biological foundations of beauty and attractiveness in this book, examining how these concepts reflect in social interactions among people.

“The Halo Effect: … and the Eight Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers” – Phil Rosenzweig This book discusses common misconceptions that managers often fall into in the business world, including the Halo Effect, examining physical attractiveness, success, and perception in the context of business.

“Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” – Robert B. Cialdini This book explains the psychological principles underlying persuasion and influence processes, touching upon the role of physical attractiveness in persuading people.

“The Social Animal” – Elliot Aronson While explaining fundamental concepts and theories in social psychology, this book also addresses the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s social interactions and perceptions.

1. Success Rates:

• In every sector, only 5% achieve success. But why?

2. Key to Success:

• Only 20% of success is related to external factors (company, school, conditions).
• However, 80% depends on personal factors: mindset, talent, consistent work, change, and adaptability.

3. The Importance of Mindset:

• Talent and hard work are not enough; you need a strong mindset.
• Would names like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos succeed if they did your job? Probably yes. Because of mindset!

4. What is Mindset?

• Having the right and positive perspective.
• Your stance against problems: Like with the Everest example, challenges shape who we are.

Challenges are like handfuls of salt. Some put it in a glass and drink bitter water, others throw it into the ocean and drink sweet water.

anonymous

• Stop complaining.
• Successful people have different habits.
• Mindset is essentially a way of thinking. This gradually transforms into feelings, behaviors, habits, and eventually character. And character determines our destiny.

5. Final Thoughts:

• To succeed, you first need to fall.
• Always focus on the positive.
• The people around you and their quality directly affect your success.

Conclusion: Right actions yield results only with the right mindset.

New Year’s resolutions mean defining steps to be taken in the future to reach goals for many people. However, implementing these decisions is as important as making them. Here are some key points to consider on this topic:

🤔 Difference Between Knowing and Understanding: Knowing something is just having surface-level information. Truly understanding something means taking action on it, experiencing it, and internalizing it. For example, knowing grammar rules is not enough to learn a language; you need to speak it and practice it to truly understand.

😮 Surprises of Seminars: When giving a seminar, you experience something different each time. The reactions, questions, and feedback from the audience can surprise you. This shows that every seminar is a unique and instructive experience.

💡 Seek Help from Experts: When setting your New Year’s resolutions, it’s important to seek guidance and advice from experts in specific areas you want to improve. For instance, you can seek advice from exercise experts for fitness goals or watch related videos. The knowledge and experience of experts give you a significant advantage in reaching your goals.

🤷‍ Sometimes You Need to Let Go of Some People: There might be people in your life who constantly drain you, lower your energy, or negatively affect you. Moving away from such people is essential for your personal growth and peace. Remember, when you let go, you realize you’ve made a genuine choice.

💡 Every Choice is a Renunciation: Every choice in life means giving up on something. For example, choosing a career path means rejecting other potential paths. However, this doesn’t mean the choice is wrong. Our task is to make a choice, take action, and own the consequences.

🤝 Talented and Determined Individuals in Your Life: Talented and determined individuals entering your life can inspire and motivate you to take action towards personal growth and success. Spending time with such individuals can guide you towards higher goals.

💡 Change Your Thoughts for Success: Sometimes, to achieve success, you might need to change your long-held beliefs, perspective, and even your identity. Be flexible to overcome your own limitations and reshape your thoughts if necessary.

🚴 Take Quick Action: Starting to implement your decisions quickly boosts your self-esteem and confidence. The fear of making mistakes prevents many people from taking action. However, mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth.

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. The strength of the bond we form with our loved ones is based on this trust. However, once broken, it is quite challenging to fully mend this trust. A tale of a snake and a woodcutter helps us delve deep into this matter

In the story, there is a tight friendship between the snake and the woodcutter. However, due to the woodcutter’s greed and avarice, this friendship shatters. The snake falls victim to the woodcutter’s betrayal, leading to the complete dissolution of trust between them. The snake’s refusal to be friends with the woodcutter again highlights the lasting consequences of broken trust and the difficulty of repairing it.

This tale not only reflects the relationship between the snake and the woodcutter but also mirrors all other relationships in our lives. Greed and avarice can deceive us, not just for material gains but also in our social and emotional relationships. Such emotions can harm our relationships and sometimes cause irreparable damage.

In conclusion, mending relationships after trust is broken is quite challenging. This is not limited to the story of a snake and a woodcutter; it applies to every aspect of our lives. Therefore, to protect and strengthen our relationships, it is essential to preserve and value trust.

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Success begins with a single, small step. This is the essence of the Snowball Effect, a concept that explains how success grows and strengthens as we persist and progress.

The Snowball Effect illustrates that initial efforts, however small, amass and transform into something more substantial over time. Persistence and patience are key. Early struggles are part of the journey, but as the metaphorical snowball gains momentum, hurdles become less daunting, and achievements more frequent.

Consider the journey of a content creator. Imagine producing content diligently for six months. The initial phase might bring modest views and subscribers. However, with regular content creation, views gradually increase. By the six-month mark, you celebrate 1000 subscribers and regular views. Then, an unexpected video might go viral, propelling your platform to new heights.

The Snowball Effect applies to various aspects of life. It is a beacon of hope in the face of challenges and wavering motivation. The initial push might be tough, but the growing momentum eventually paves the way, overcoming obstacles.

In essence, the Snowball Effect is a magical path to success. Maintaining focus, determination, and motivation are crucial. This process guarantees an escalating growth rate, amplifying your potential as you advance.

So, let’s set the snowball in motion and embrace the journey towards success. The Snowball Effect is ready to propel us beyond our limits!

If you are searching for something, it is within YOU. “If you are searching for the guesthouse of the soul, you are the soul. If you are searching for a piece of bread, you are bread. If you are searching for a drop of water, you are thirst. If you are searching for love, you are a lover.. If you understand this point, it means you understand the matter so again

Whatever you are searching for, it is within YOU.”

That is why

If you know what you are searching for, you also know who you are…

Hakan MENGÜÇ

Remember that whatever you are searching for in this world, it is also searching for you.

Every step you take in this pursuit is valuable.

Believe me, it is not in vain. I admit that sometimes you don’t find what you’re looking for, but you can be sure that those who find are always the ones who search.

Mevlana, throughout his life, embarked on the pursuit of many things, a very valuable philosopher and thinker. He sought knowledge, love, nothingness, wisdom, and the way throughout his life…

During this journey, he also searched for a companion who would guide him, open up his horizon, a soulmate, a confidant, a fellow traveler…

He even put his search into verses at times: “Who can see me as I am? I have no color, no insignia. I do not know when this heart will be still.”

While talking about his pursuit, he also offers a very important wisdom to those who understand… Mevlana’s writing is very noteworthy in this respect, in my opinion. Because he directly states some of the information he wants to convey, but he also hides them under obscure and deep expressions and meanings from time to time. He codes them, he does not openly reveal them, he covers them up. Most of his poems are full of these types of codings.

These are the secrets of knowledge that have been sealed. They are not for everyone, but for those who are ready to open themselves up to them… They require maturity, vision, intelligence, intuition, and sensitivity.

Mevlana chooses to open some of his teachings to an active reader and does it with great mastery, with poetry. Let’s stay on the poem I gave as an example and look at Mevlana’s teachings that he concealed:

“Who can see me as I am? I have no color, no insignia. I do not know when this heart will be still.”

Do you know who “friend” is, my fellow traveler?

Friend is someone who understands the state of being. A friend is someone who can hear not only what you say but also what you do not say. Sometimes, while walking your own path in this world, you will feel very lonely. You will feel alone even in the crowds. You may even say to yourself that you are a lonely traveler without anyone to rely on.

You will complain that nobody can see you as you are, complete and whole. You will complain that nobody understands you, notices you, or realizes your existence.

Maybe you will feel like disappearing, the desire to disappear, the need to leave everything behind, and go away. You will want to disappear so that someone will find you, see you, notice you, and understand you.

You will wish for someone to notice your absence immediately, to follow you, to make an effort for you, to pull you out from a narrow and obscure hole that nobody would ever think of. You will want someone to realize your worth. You will wait motionless, hidden, not to be erased but to be discovered in a corner.

At the point where you think you have become completely worthless, you will think that even living has lost its importance. Everything will seem meaningless, bad, and always against you. You will probably have no more enthusiasm, hope, or desire to take even one step forward. You will think it’s over.

But that is where everything begins, be careful. That is where your fate will change.

Mevlana was also a lonely man in the midst of crowds. Outwardly, his surroundings were crowded, his life was full of people, everyone loved him and respected him. But nobody understood him, nobody saw his true self, they saw an idealized image of him. Who was there to truly understand amidst these crowds?

Who was there to hear even their silence?

Who was there to see the invisible in them?

No one!

No one at all…

But still, they continued their search. It had become what they were searching for over time. Both friend, master, travel companion, guide, and path…

Mevlana expressed their search with these words:

“Just as a thirsty lip seeks water, water also seeks a thirsty lip.”

Then one day, what happened?

They found what they were looking for.

A friend came to Konya from thousands of kilometers away.

Their name was Shams-i Tabrizi…

They became a friend who shone like the sun, accompanied Mevlana in writing the Mesnevi, and was filled with love for them.

They had changed and supported Mevlana so much that they described in these verses how they had become complete and whole…

“My eye’s light has come.

If you have asked for something else,

Here I am, that something else.”

Now listen well, my travel companion. Whatever you complain about in your life, know that you have found it because you were searching for it. Therefore, pay attention to what you are searching for. Because what you are searching for is what you are.

If you are searching for love, then you are love. If you are searching for a friend, then you are a friend. If you are searching for knowledge, then you are knowledge. If you are searching for enthusiasm, then you are enthusiasm. If you are searching for peace, then you are peace. If you are searching for success, then you are success.

Your mind and tongue may be tripping you up, be aware. Your mind is a good manipulator, don’t fall into its trap.

A person seeking success doesn’t go to work grumbling in the morning. If you are complaining about working, then what you are seeking is failure, so don’t blame anyone else.

A person seeking love doesn’t criticize or judge the people around them. If you are not extending a helping hand to anyone or generously offering tolerance, then what you are seeking is not love, but loneliness, so don’t blame anyone else.

A person seeking a friend doesn’t act selfishly or lie. If you are not giving anyone trust, only thinking of yourself, or always changing your mind, then what you are seeking is not friendship, but hostility, so don’t blame anyone else.

Stop and think, would you want to be a travel companion with yourself? Would you trust yourself forever? Would you agree with yourself in any situation? Would you turn your back on yourself? Would you attach yourself to yourself? Would you dedicate your life to yourself? Your answers will change the rest of your journey from top to bottom, so be honest please.

Pay attention to what you are searching for.

Look at what you are really pursuing, not just what you appear to be searching for. Look at your actions, thoughts, choices, attitudes, words, feelings, and heart.

Because a person is only what they are searching for, not someone else…